One of the ironies of living in a more technological age is that we also are experience greater loneliness and disconnection. Additionally, there can be a paralyzing sense of performance and judgement as people continuously put their lives out into the world through the posts that they share. As a result, the more we get pulled into the online world, the most we could use getting back to being offline. Howard Lewis is spearheading this movement through his Offline Dinner Parties and his book The Joy of Offline. We talk about what prompted this book, and how his offline parties helped to create great connection, curiosity, and risk taking. He describes how his hands-off approach helps to create an inner momentum that carry these event forward. He also discusses why it is important to have people from diverse backgrounds and interest to help break barriers and boundaries. Finally, we talk about his life in finance and the art world, and what lessons he carries from those into trying to break the grip of online.
Standing in front of a classroom, or trying to talk to anyone raised in the distraction generations, emphasizes how we are constantly trying to compete for attention. I guess that competing for attention is nothing new; it is just the sources of distraction are different. Back in the “before times” of not too long ago, people would get distracted by daydreaming, where their minds would wander to some other made up location and they could get lost in their thoughts. At least in those occasions, there are minds and thoughts at play, an engagement in the creative that can hopefully be the wellspring of inspiration.
Now with social media content, the addictive intention and allure of notifications and other “dings” on our phones, and other technological intrusions, we are brought out of a moment of our creation, and into the creations of others. Along with ruining our ‘alone time,’ these features of the distraction age get in the way of co-creating moments with others. Given that we are by nature social animals, the disruption of co-creating moments and shared experiences in a very real way takes away our very nature and essence. The question then becomes, “How do we get it back?”
My guest today on Experience by Design thinks he has if not THE answer, it is at least a good way to make strides to reclaiming our spaces for ourselves. Howard Lewis, despite what could be characterized as unimpressive results from his schooling, found a start in the world of money and finance which then moved into the world of art (in which there can be a lot of money and finance).
What he carried forward was his general fascination with the world, and the desire to connect with it intentionally and mindfully. This eventually led to Offline dinner parties, where no one was allowed to have their phones and everyone had to engage in a shared topic. He curated the guest list to have people with different backgrounds and experiences, hoping that such a mix would yield conversation that would lead to shared experiences and connection. He even found that people would embrace their vulnerability and be more open with their contributions, the sharing of the moment creating the momentum to be more open and accepting.
We talk about the structure and dynamics of the Offline dinner parties. Howard stresses that very casual conversation can be very meaningful when they are accompanied by small and simple gestures. If you start with the positive, people will reciprocate in kind. In the end, this create an opportunity to break down hierarchies and divisions, and come together as people through a mechanism perhaps as old as time: breaking bread, eating together, sharing thoughts and stories, and just being in the present together.
Offline and On: https://offlineandon.com/
Offline and On YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdfnm8ztBTYt1O2jHA9tOXg
Howard Lewis LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/howard-lewis-3968a/
“Leave Your Phone at the Door: The Joy of Offline”: https://publishizer.com/leave-your-smartphone-at-the-door-the-joy-of-offline/